27.change

has come.
follow me.
why?

27.other

I’m so sick of all these people, but I’m scared to be alone.

[from gefuehlskonserve.de]

27.old

Das Glück ist nur eine Singularität in der Undendlichkeit der Verzweiflung.

26.new

tell me why?
why let you me kiss your hand farewell?
why did you this to me?
first just an anonymous guest,
and then the permission to touch your hand with my lips?
why?
we shall talk,
i think you are a person worth knowing.
please be that person,
who is worth to be loved,
i've been searching since an eternity for you.

26.old

Du gibst mir freude. Nach einer durchzechten nacht ist Dein lächeln wie ein sonnenstrahl, der die wolken meiner kopfschmerzen teilt. made by bayer.
Wenn Du da bist fühle ich mich mehr. Mehr als mensch, mehr als ich, mehr als alle anderen. Das gras ist grüner. Wenn Du weg bist fehlt der meinen Welt was, die erinnerung an Dich bringt die farben wieder.

25.new

i can feel the change,
it's coming,
lurking in the shadows,
waiting in the dark corners of my life

i can feel it come
summing up the probabilities,
waiting patiently to break the barrier of my reality

i know it,
i've known it for so long

pushing it away,
struggling against the inevitable,
using all my power, all my strength to make this moment last.
to protect my little world against it.

because i feel happy here,
cos i would like it to last forever
cos it is a great part of my self definition.
a part of me.
and me a part of it.

but the change is coming.

have i spent to much time here?
have i forgotten how to change?
lost the ability to go with the flow?
became static?

i have to remember.
how to redefine myself.
define myself through the change.

because its coming.

-----------------------
it was solid
yet everchanging
it was different
yet the same
...
therein lies the beauty
- Dark Tranquillity


nothing is satic, everything is falling, everything is falling apart
- Tyler Durden

I wanna feel the change consume me,
Feel the outside turning in.
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I've endured within

My shadow
Change is coming.
Now is my time.
- Tool

25.old

verachten für die, die das streben nach einem besserem ich aufgegeben haben.

24.new

we use to complicate things, is it because if our inability to understand our drives and motivations as that simple and boring?

24.old

beyond the horizon of my dreams
you play the music to the echoes of my feelings

23.new

Each time we met, my words crumble to dust
Each time you pick the remains and give them meaning again.
You beat me every time.

23.old

the glimpse of true emotion makes my ordinary life look like a fading flower in the desert of cold seed.

22.new

we use to complicate things, is it because if our inability to understand our drives and motivations as that simple and boring?

22.old

the echoes of love long gone haunt my dreams. No daylight nor the embrace of night make them go away. My returning power seem to strenghten them.
My fears become obvious, small

21.not that new

How many dissapointments do we need to cool down like a dying sun?
Empty shell is that will be left.
How much love is needed for us to go supernova?

21.old

Life goes around in circles, the pain you cause is the pain you recieve.
This simple geometry of pain fails when beholding love.
the clue is to solve its pattern

20.new

Lying awake, waiting for my soul to initialize
Wondering what will happen if it fails

20.old

Emotion overload. Feelings shutting down, leaving a blank mind

19.new

with every disappointment we harden our shell.
to protect us, to shield us.
with every disappointment our fire goes darker.
protected, shielded by too many shells.

19.old

sleepwalking through the dream of my life, the nightmare of my life.
every step may send me into darkness or lift me into heavens.
which way will i take?
Who am I to choose?

18.new

...to get rid of my blindness
I need to see clearly...

18.old

the last of the heroes gone. noone to show me the way, to separate wrong from right, to colour the shades of gray. just me and the music of my soul.

17.other

Restless little one
Comfortable and warm
Let me fall apart
Crippled in your arms

Chase me through the dark
Ready on your mark
First to reach the stars
Wins a broken heart
One that broke apart
Shattered from the start

[foo fighters - over and out]

17.new

two tears for an angel

17.old

in the landscape of my feelings, i'm walking through a desert of indifference, broken by the spikes of despair growing out of forbidden love.

16.new

the ability to forget is the only thing that keeps us alive
after 934241241 seconds of concious life we realise that there's nothing new
we've seen it all, done it all, thought it all through, felt every emotion,exploded in every ectasy, cried all tears, reachd all goals.
be thankful,
forget.

16.old

the loss of a beloved presence fills me with emptyness. like a bubble of non-existence eating my soul, consuming myself. part of me gone, leaving a hole into which the rest follows.

15. other

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that frightens us.

15.new

tired of giving and getting nothing back
tired of loving and being not loved/ignored
tired, just tired

15.old

my self-centered existence turning pointless. the lack of stars, nothing to look up to.
makes my vision go blind.
all whats left is the vision of small lives.

14.new

tired beyond any sleep to heal,
waiting for the colors to reapear in the grey world,
have to dig hard and deep for every fragment of emotion

14.old

die tränen zeigen mir daß ich noch am leben bin. die fähigkeit mich so zu berühren besitzen nicht viele.
Dafür bin ich euch dankbar, möget ihr mich lange zeit auf meinem weg begleiten. danke für die liebe.

13.new

thank you,
thank you for listening,
thank you for percepting the echoes of the music of my soul.

13.old

to overcome my blindness, i need to see clearly.
moments of beauty shattered my shell of self-centered existence

12.new

the process of hurting someone close rips my soul in pieces,
even if i see this is the only way, my inner self screams in white agony.
this is the guilt i have to live with.

12.old

so verharre ich in dem Moment verblassender Gefühle, in törichter Hoffnung er würde für immer verbleiben.
Unfähig klar zu denken, aufrecht zu empfinden. Der vorhergeahnte Schmerz des Verlustes hindert mich daran weiterzugehen und mich neuzuverlieben.
There are bridges that won't burn.
Nicht mit meinem feuer, noch nicht.

11.new

the simple proximity of another soul, the ability to touch it floods my inner being with warmth, the sensation of touch, unbound by any expectations or conventions makes me smile again, makes me feel alive.
Again.

11.other

The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind. The sheer number of experiences i could have is uncountable, breathtaking, and I'm sitting here refreshing my INBOX. We live trapped in loops. Reliving a few days over and over, and we envision only a handful of paths laid out ahead of us. We see the same things each day, we respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, each day a slight variation of the last, every moment smoothly following the gentle curves of social norms. We act like if we just get through today, tomorrow our dreams will come back to us.

[from http://xkcd.com/137]

11.old

pools of molten pain opens inside my heart. the fear of loosing someone loved drives me insane, but this madness reveals my true feelings

10.new

the world is sucking away my lifeblood,
the more i give, the less i receive back,
all of my compassion spent,
like a raindrop in the desert,
i feel like trying to turn a glacier with my own breath,
should i keep this breath for myself?

10.older

don't waste your time,
that's the stuff life is made of

10.old

frozen moments of myself.
the dumb words not capable to express
the mere shade of my thoughts
driven between passion and comfort, between
ectasy and seciurity, whitch way will i choose?

9.new

a moment of beauty, moment of perfection, moment of truth,
in one splitsecond reality we manage to synchronise our souls,
to tune ourselfs to the music of another soul,
can this be love?

9.old

life slowly burning away, the pain of decay stretched over infinity,
pain, my only true follower, all other of them gone: hope, pride, passion, strenght.
My sole friend whom I can embrace in my struggle for power.

8.new

have you ever cried?

have you ever...
...felt beauty,
...heard music,
...felt awe,
that made you cry?

have you ever cried?

8.old

percieving our blindness is only possible
by taking off the glasses of prejustice.
erst wenn wir zu sehen gelernt haben
erkennen wir unsere blindheit

7.new

The fire that burns in our souls seems to die
Time is the curse and the bless that makes us human
All we need is a reignition of the spark
a reboot of the soul that makes IT speak again
the insight for the mechanics of our souls is what we need

7.old

the pain of hope. blinded by fate (fool)
looking for the spark, able to re-ignite the fire,
in a life of everlasting dark

6.new

We choose not to...
...not to love,
...not to be the person we want to be,
...not to see.

not making a choice is the easiest choice

6.2.old

surrounded by a world which coldness makes
my emotionless freeze look like a bonfire
in the dark.
sub-zero feelings.

6.1.old

there's beauty in us all, lurking beneath
a thousand artificial shells,
sometimes forgotten even by ourselves.

5.new

our greatest treasure
the intersubjectivity of feelings
the ability to re-feel other people emotions
compassion

5.old

impression of beauty, captured in a fraction of time, frozen in time.
for every whish given up, there is a price to pay.

4.new

You are the one.
You are the one I could

o WASTE
o SPARE
o FULFILL
o AWAKEN
o LIVE
o SACRIFICE
o FORGET
o AWAKEN

my love for

please choose the appropriate item.

4.old

here we go, barely remembering what happend before.
memories fade to grey, turn to dust, to nothing
running in circles.
let your soul melt, melted hate, molten love, liquid fear.
embracing every pure emotion, trying to find that spark
that makes us burn again.
every thread of felleing analysed, dissected.
silent screams rising, unable to break the molten walls of
our dis-emotional prison/cage.

that's the end of fairy-tales.

3.new

we think we've come that far
the crown of evolution
masters of our destiny
gods chosen
...but that's just the begining

what about the other side?
brothers killers
warmongers
drown in stupidity
...that's already the very end

3.old

make it worth to stand,
(world) worth to witness,
(pain) worth bo bear.

2.new

solitude, my friend of old
it's to long i've seek thy presence
you're the mirror for my soul

2.old

walking the crowded streets alone,
feeling like a stranger on a different planet.

empty faces everywhere,
showing barely rememberd shadows of emotions,
caring for no-one exept themselvels
countless souls are slowly dying
slowly fading to grey

your sleeping time is over,
break the silence
in this particular moment there is only one solution
WAKE UP!!

Remember! Rediscover how to love, how to hate

1.new

stupidity and ignorance surrounds me.
minus and minus equals plus?
exponential breakdown follows

1.old

(mindless) more then i can stand,
(world) more than i can witness,
(pain) more than i can bear.